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Date: November 2, 2022
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I doubt your sister is giving it to your daughter just to get her to go back to sleep. I'm betting she's done this multiple times and does it not long after she comes over just so she doesn't have to watch her. Your sister and parents are insane if they think there is nothing wrong with drugging a 5 year old with alcohol so you don't have to watch them, even though that's literally what you are being paid to do.
L E A V E
Its enough time to at least get back and talk from there.
Over generous to a war refugee. Huh. Have you watched any footage of the war?
Bottom line: there is zero indication that he’s into this woman, so I’m not sure where your jealousy is coming from.
Is it ok for him to have a roommate in his own apartment that you do not share with him? Yep. You’re not married. You don’t live together. He can have a roommate & the financial arrangements are (you guessed it) none of your business.
This guy won't ever give you a ride home from work, saving you from a long commute, despite the fact that it's not out of his way AT ALL?! Ffs i almost spit out my drink at that one…
NONE of this is acceptable treatment! You're literally his LAST priority! Does he even acknowledge that he's in a relationship w/ you? Like seriously, does he know that you're dating? (this is a genuine question i'm not trying to be rude).
I really think you need to take some time to yourself and figure out why you're so willing to accept crumbs of attention from someone who doesn't care about you. Oh and dump him, obviously. You can do better.
This should be at the top. An anecdote like this is so common and unnecessary sad
To those here that dont see her actions as a big deal, please read this
I totally understand where you are coming from, you just need to remember that this is a you problem, not a him problem.
I am a woman, and in the past I have had boyfriends who were insecure, and who were jealous/concerned about my male coworkers. I can tell you that it is EXHAUSTING to constantly reassure someone that you aren’t cheating, aren’t flirting, aren’t interested in anyone else. It’s EVEN WORSE when they pull the “well it’s them I don’t trust” card. It implies that I would somehow be too stupid or weak to resist this flirting, which is just as offensive (to me) as suggesting that I am flirting back.
I’m not trying to be harsh, just giving you another perspective. I once broke off a great relationship with a man I truly loved because he couldn’t handle it that there were good-looking men where I worked.
You look like you don’t love yourself enough. Love yourself more. Think about the person you love the most (neither of the assholes in this story) and if they were in your position what advice would you be telling them?
Classic projection. Leave him, obviously
thats what my sister told me
Okay. But that’s a big reaction. I’m compulsive about kitchen too. But. I would never wait 2 days because I felt it was the other person’s job to put stuff away. But. She’s training you which isn’t an awful thing because that means she wants it to work. I would say throwing a hissy fit isn’t a mature or helpful way to go about it. You response wasn’t worthy of that. Work on communication.
You're holding yourself to the wrong standard. You're not presenting evidence to a judge, jury, judicial system, detective, vigilante, any of that. You do not need to have proof of anything to leave a situation that is clearly hurting you. You gathered your evidence, you know the pain, now it's time for you to to come to your own decision, be your own judge. Do you think you can ever trust him again? After all he's done, do you even want him in your life?
You write so casually about gaslighting and manipulation and you can point it out, but it's like you have this big defensive wall up that doesn't allow you to fully register that you're the victim of it. The worst part of that is it's an endless loop. The higher the wall, the more tolerant you are of being treated like a doormat or a sucker (I'm sorry), the higher the wall, etc.
You should take a week away from him and see how you feel. Stay elsewhere, focus on you. If my husband treated me like you described, my burden of proof would have been met and exceeded less than halfway through your story. Sweetheart.