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Date: October 3, 2022
Yes. Dump him and get some one “hopelessly devoted to you”, to quote the song!
“We’re going to candy mountain, Charlie!”
Absolutely not. 8 months is a long time Army standards, but not real world standards. Take it from someone who’s been in the service a minute… if you marry him it won’t end well.
It sounds like you were jealous and controlling in that very short-lived relationship.
She couldn't go to a festival with guy friends, she couldn't hang out with guy friends without letting you know first. You mention no problem with girl friends, specifically male.
Her 'history of cheating', if it was on you in those few months you shouldn't have stayed with her. If it was past relationships then you can't hold that against her or use it as an excuse to set up rules for her.
If I were her, I really wouldn't want to speak to you. So, hopefully you've nothing to worry about.
your gf doesn't want you to go on ANY HOLIDAY WITHOUT HER.
She then also said she wouldn't be happy if I went away with guy friends, but would be more ok with that since I am straight.
She is being very double standardy.
It doesn't matter if your bff is male or female. she basically said you aren't allowed to go anywhere without her.
Does he smoke or drink? Sleep on his back? Can he breathe through his nose all night? Or does he just snore constantly no matter what?
Why isn’t he making his own food ?
Damn, good catch. He really is trying to get other women to DM him on here for sexual encounters, and then getting violent when he catches his wife. Not surprised he married her when she was 18-19 years old and he was 24-25.
He never gave me an allowance. It was a spoiling relationship
I disagree with this entirely. The daughter is hurt. And she’s justified in feeling hurt here. She didn’t ask to be born to teen parents. She is now seeing that her younger half siblings having a luxury trumps her ability to live. This will be the first in a lifelong series of situations where those kids have it better than her. In my opinion, OP is at a real risk of being cut out of his eldest daughter’s life unless he treats her with extreme compassion. And she is not wrong in how she feels.
It also wasn't the brand new leather sofa.
Literally nothing you've described is something he's doing, it's all on the inside of your head. This isn't a relationship problem, this is an insecurity that you work on yourself.
Assume it’s just for the cats. If your absence has made her heart grow fonder jumping at the opportunity might cause her to backpedal. The only info she’s offered is that she misses the cats.
Lol what a hypocrite.
Hm interesting idea. I considered maybe adhd since he has a hard time focusing on anything. Maybe it could be why he has difficulty noticing or remembering certain things I bring up?
Is this twice a year or twice a month. If it's twice a year discuss abstinence with her. See where the conversation goes. If it's twice a month you likely know the answer already.
Side chick or not, no one is that relationship stupid that they keep their gf from all of their friends and family for 3 years. You only see each other a couple,of times a week and he lives with his parents at age 30. Why do you even want to be with this guy? THREE years? I would not have tolerated that for more than a year at most. I get everyone had a different timeline for meeting people but you basically haven’t met anyone and seen his parents only once in 3 years. That is so not normal. And you even asked to meet them and have him meet your family. I’d be outta there. This is not a normal functional relationship
I wonder why he would talk to a family lawyer and his mother about this, if he didn't think it was necessary. Maybe he mentioned to his mom that you were moving in, and mom asked about the agreement, which led to a talk with the lawyer.
Is there some major income disparity in this relationship? This sounds a lot like someone trying to protect financial assets through contracts, instead of two people deciding to live together. They seem worried that you would “take over” the property somehow.
It isn't clear if he owns the property in question, or rents it. If the latter, the solution would be to see if your name can be put on the lease. This not only clarifies your residence there legally, but also gives you some protections (as well as obligations).
If he owns it, he could always just have you as a tenant. Get a normal lease, with a nominal rental fee of $1 per month or something like that, which spells out all the stuff that may or may not be done.
The way I see it, you have the following options:
Refuse, because you were invited, multiple times, with the condition that no agreement would be involved. Therefore, he is doing a bait-and-switch, no matter how sound his reasons might be. You wouldn't want to live with someone who changes conditions on you like this; but you'd have to ask yourself if you even want to stay in a relationship with someone who changes conditions on you mid-stream. It sounds a bit like him inviting you to go on vacation with him where he covers the costs, and once you are on board the airplane he demands that you pay for half, or at least for all the meals. Go along with it for peace. Your relationship with your boyfriend may be just fine, and he's doing this to pacify his mother. (Again, whether you want to be in a relationship with a guy who has to deal with a mother like that is a separate question.) HOWEVER, if you decide to go along with an agreement, get your own lawyer to make sure that your rights are protected, as well as his. Given that a family lawyer is involved, it sounds more like you'll be faced with a legal contract instead of something like a list of house rules the two of you just agree on.
If you don't know your boyfriend's financial situation, or his family's, you probably need to know. If he were of a wealthy family, I could understand the desire to avoid someone after him for his money. You've been dating for two years, though, and I would think you'd have met his family by now. If your objective was matrimony and lots of pricey gifts and such, that should have already been clear.
On the face of it, your situation seems more like his mother's doing. Two people living together can work out things like “no pets” or “we take turns cleaning the kitchen” and such. The fact that there are stories out there of crazy girlfriends (or boyfriends) who become squatters and kick out the original occupant doesn't mean that's a common thing that happens, and I suspect that there would be some red flags on the way to such a situation.
If the family isn't wealthy, this may say more about his mother's paranoia than anything else. Again, you have to talk with your boyfriend about what's going on, and how much his mother's wishes apply in a relationship he has with you.
Ignoring work and proving some idiot wrong all morning. Priceless.
Nope he knew full well what he was doing let that one go!
UpdateMe!
Break up with him.
He's not smart about money, he's a tightwad, he's a Scrooge. There's a huge difference.
And he will not change his mind on it unless you provide him with a choice: I live in comfortable and safe temperatures and have hot showers, or we're done. And you mean it, because you CANNOT sacrifice your comfort for the rest of your life and your children's lives so he can save $150 a month.
lmao
Don’t worry I don’t think “a relationship will ruin my chances to bang other girls” will be a problem for you in the near future.
Since you're not willing to do anything to improve your situation what are you looking for? Someone to give you an in on an arranged marriage? You want someone to be forced to be your girlfriend?
I think so too. That's why I want to talk with her. I don't want to pretend that I might want kids some day just because I don't want to loose her. That wouldn't be fair.
Just tell him you don't have any complaints and there's more than just physical size to intimacy
What I did is say “are you free Wednesday night?”…”cool, we have an appointment with a counsellor”.
Fuck that. It’s never too late to leave an asshole.
Lol, what? Sorry you lost me at the implication that something can only be normal if it’s been normal for most or all of human history. Is using a computer normal?