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?Eve, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 12, 2022
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Came to say this, 100% agree with Benny. While I’m not in agreement with most of your boundaries I respect them but for this one – I absolutely would not marry someone before living with them. But it really comes to down to if any of these are a deal breaker for your bf – not what anyone here thinks.
It's a long time to not know, which is fine, but you need to decide if you want to put your life on hold.
those pesky letters matter…it took me a moment and one rereading to figure out who in the post was husband-to-be and who was wife-to-be
It could be beneficial for you both to see you'd be better off with other people. So from that perspective, yes it can be very helpful for some people.
I feel like I need to know how long you’ve been dating for and why the other people “loathe” you to make a decision
This isn’t about watching dogs. This is about her desire to show dominance over you. This is emotional manipulation and abuse. Tell her that coming from a toxic home may explain her behavior – but it does not excuse it. There is no excuse for her verbally abusing you. She needs therapy and some anger management. Do not engage her with your own anger. Rise above it. Set a boundary with her and stick to it. Tell her to professionally address her behavior and get help or it’s over. In the mean time, it wouldn’t hurt you to also get some help through therapy to gain some emotional tools to better deal with her (or anyone else who is emotionally abusive).
I think there’s a non trivial chance she’s been acting on her homosexuality behind his back this whole time. All these “lunches” with friends that take priority over her husband/family.
Jesus christ, you are projecting so much malice onto her. She fucked with his plans? She’s making this about herself? She doesn’t give a shit about him?
Yeah we get the principle, that he wanted to buy it himself as an accomplishment. That’s fine. But he clearly didn’t explain that reasoning. For the vast majority of people, when their loved one says “man, I really wanna buy this thing!” that thing is flagged in their mind as a potential gift. That’s even how some people drop hints that they want the thing as a gift!! It was reasonable, and not malicious and evil as you seem to put it, for her to get the watch as a gift.
She thought she was doing something thoughtful, and he was an absolute jerkoff about it.
“Hello sir, I would like to make a withdrawal from OPs bank?”
“No”
“He hasn't a problem being a bank for others so why not me?”
Big hugs to your for what you went through and what these commenters are putting you through now. You don't deserve this.
I would tell my boyfriend straight away and with as much detail as possible, because we talk about everything.
Even without the assault, its sad to lose a friend. Its horrible to find out someone you considered as a close friend was just pretending to be your friend to get more from you. It happens all the time, that's how the “friendzone” became a thing.
I really hope your boyfriend can make you feel better about this and you can make some new friends without alterier motives.
Just another reason not to have a gender reveal!
Fly you fool
Size does not equate enjoyment. I've had partners from smal, like under 4 inches, to big, over 9. There are pros and cons with all sizes, and usually the person they are attached to makes the biggest difference.
My current partner is very average and we have a great sex life, not because of size but because of us and our relationship.
I can relate to doing things for/with people in the past. Sometimes you try something and it's not your thing so you don't want to do it again. It has nothing to do with the person you are with, it simply boils down to not wanting that experience again. ?
So easy to say all that.
Guess what, most guys are insecure. Iif it is guys who are saying what you are saying right now, I'll tell you that a good number of them are saying this shouldn't matter because they know that's what women want to hear.
There is a chasm between what a guy will be willing to have casual relationship with and what he will commit to.
Having sex with his friends and family is part of that.
Outside of reddit, the world isn't as anything goes as people front on the internet, at least when it comes to who am I going to try and build a family with.
Is that immature? Is it insecure?
I'm less worried about labels and more interested in what is real. And let me promise you it is real.
Well, if she’s just avoiding you because of that, I think you should leave her alone. There’s nothing else to be done about it if they’re not cheating. You didn’t do anything you can’t fix it. What are you gonna do break up with your boyfriend? She’ll go after him. Just leave it alone and let her find somebody else spend some time on her own. Make some other friends with different people. You don’t want a friend that would go after your boyfriend anyway, I also wouldn’t talk about it a ton with your boyfriend just let it be.
Id be honest. Its still early in your relationship. Don't waste time on something or someone when your hearts not 100% in it.
Yup! Just be honest and say you don't really know cuz you havrn't tried a lot of stuff!
This sounds like the beginning of a family annihilation true crime story.
Run.
Yeah, it seems like she's got a lot of unresolved issues and has thus become a stage 5 clinger. Considering you're already experiencing some major concerns about whether you can adequately handle it all, it would probably be kindest to end things. If you arent going to do that, then you need to communicate clearly that things are moving too quickly for you and that you need more time to get to know one another before deciding to be in a committed relationship or not. If she cant understand that, thats a very clear sign that this isnt going to work out.
Simple solution. Tell her you’ve decided to pass on marriage, that you’d rather just live together. Give her some BS about how is a dying institution, people have trouble being monogamous etc. Suggest living together. If she agrees and the sex gets better, then you are good. If she runs for the hills, you know this was all about getting married and not about you.
…is me testing to see if I’m okay with it, then setting a boundary when I’m not…a “massive deal”?
I was specifically referring to “don’t people have real friends outside of work anymore” comment. And truthfully, no not really. At least not for me and the majority of my friends. I do have friendships with people from college and even high school. I have friendships with people from old jobs. But the majority of my socializing is with friends from work.
I definitely don’t endorse this weird trip or her friendships with people of questionable moral character. I just don’t think it’s weird to have really close friends from work.
Yep me too. It kills one’s confidence and self esteem. I will never be with an asexual person or someone who views sex as dirty, an afterthought or thinks anyone who has a high libido is somehow less than intelligent.
You fucked up. There are a ton of concerns over having kids and maybe she just needed reassurance of how you two were going to handle x situation when it comes to kids before she feels like she wants them. But instead you just go for the low blow.
Especially kids who had terrible partners, a part of us are afraid we will or are just like them. Lots of us don’t want kids because we’re afraid of inflicting that pain back to our own child. If she even had this thought cross her mind for a second you just confirmed all those fears even if you didn’t mean what you said.
It's international women's day, and traditionally husbands give flowers on this day to their loved ones, and sons to mothers etc. Just a day to celebrate women
What did your boyfriend do when your dad got in his face?!!
No I do NOT want to live like.. Thank u, I should really consider a therapist..
It may hurt now but one day you will wake up and realize she did you a favor. Can you imagine having to tolerate John for the rest of you life because your SO refuses to call him to order and let’s him just walk all over you?